While My Lap Gently Fills

I’m sitting here, typing one-handed as Mr. Man is cuddled in my lap.  It’s that precious time right after he’s eaten when he looks up at me with absolute trust and love in his eyes–then spit-up comes drooling right out, quickly followed by a salvo from the general direction of his posterior.

 

So, while I try to deny that I’m sitting here with a lap full of pre-owned milk (from both ends of my child) I shall quickly post something, then get up and find my haz-mat suit.  The following came from a Facebook app that compiles statuses over the past year…it grabbed some good ones that I had forgotten, so I’m re-posting them over here.

 

-Welp, there’s only one explanation.  We’ve got a small but malevolent spirit apparently inhabiting our house and absconding with important possessions.  BD’s first wedding ring, the title to my old car, my ever-loving PASSPORT!  I shall call it Glenn.  I hate you, Glenn.

-Well, vacuuming just turned into an impromptu dance to Rhianna’s “The Wait Is Over”.  Guess my jubilation at starting a new job next week just got the best of me.  Sorry neighbors, I’ll try to keep my spontaneous weirdness away from the windows next time.

-Baby’s room=messier than when we started.  Good thing we have 5 months to get it cleaned out, right?  Right??

-I don’t know if it’s the Mexican vacation (although that was weeks ago) or some weird side-effect of pregnancy, but I’m peeling.  I mean PEEEEEELING!  LEPROSY, WOE, DESPAIR, etc, etc.  Please don’t be offended if I shed in your general direction.

-Oh, crap.  Baby Smelks is kicking it up while Ryan and I watch a DVRd episode of Top Gear.  And he/she stops when we hit pause… does that mean I’m gestating a tiny gear head?

-Some people listen to “Let it Be” by Lennon/McCartney when they’re having a bad day–I sing “I Go On” by Bernstein.  Who’s with me?

-Well, we ditched AT&T and the iPhone 4 today…just couldn’t handle the dropped calls.  Fortunatetly, my parents are hoarders, so we’ve got a few old loaner phones while we wait for our new Verizon phones to ship.  Yay, parents!  Boo, AT&T for such crappy coverage!  (And Apple?  My husband’s face shouldn’t be able to turn on speaker phone, face time and hang up a call…I’m jus’ saying.)

-A note to my sister-in-law’s dog, who is currently “vacationing” with us:  If you so much as utter one more pitiful whine in my general direction simply because you’re outside, I’m taking you to the nearest restaurant and selling you for meat.

-Holy moly!  Undying love to my mom and aunt for coming over today and rescuing me after I pitched a complete wobbler about my first day alone with Mr. Man.

-Things that annoy me: 1.  How bloody long it takes me to fall asleep after getting up to feed Mr. Man and 2. Randy Moss.

 

Hee.  Ok, I promise that I won’t do that sort of re-posting thing too often, and I will NEVER post that funny dream I had, or interpret search strings that led to my site, but damn, folks.  I don’t care who you are.  That shit’s funny right there!

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Filed under my life let me show you it, one two many lots

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